He's Just Not That Into You

"Oh, honey, it's okay. The only reason that little boy [insert hurtful name or action here] is because he likes you." This is the most dangerous thing that parents say to little girls. They tell us the same thing over and over again throughout elementary school: little boys are mean to the little girls they like. This translates into serious heartbreak when we start dating. Instead of pulling your hair, kicking dirt in your face, taking your toys, etc., the "little mean boy" doesn't call, cheats on you, refuses to marry you, or leads you on in some other way. And we make excuses for the men who do this ("He's intimidated by your success"; "He just got out of a serious relationship"; "He's had alot of changes in his life recently" blah blah blah) because we've been told since preschool that if a guy is mean to you or acts like he doesn't care, it's because he really likes you. In truth, He's Just Not That Into You.
I watched the movie and have read part of the book. I fully intend on buying it and reading it every once in awhile to de-program myself. I've made excuses for men who haven't called or who haven't given me what I needed emotionally. "He's not ready for a serious relationship"; "He's in law school and that keeps him really busy"; "He's worked really hard today and is probably super-tired" The list goes on and on. I've let myself believe that guys who were just not that into me were interested and wasted time I could've spent with a guy who actually cared. When I saw the authors talking about their book on some TV show one day, I blew it off as some lame-ass self-help novel. But then, a few months ago, I read part of it and realized that what it says makes alot of sense and was horrified because I realized that if I had just read the book, I would've saved myself alot of wasted time. Then I saw the movie, it made the book seem even more real (I was once again horrified because I realized that, even after reading part of the book, I had broken some of its rules). So I decided to blog about what both the book and the movie boil down to: assume you are the rule. If you do this and realize that you are the exception, well, glory in this knowledge. But, more than likely, you are the rule. So here's the rule: if a guy doesn't call, if he cheats, if he does something else that shows he doesn't care or that he doesn't want to be a couple, it doesn't matter how much fun you had or what a great connection the two of you share, he's not into you and you need to move on. We women thrive on stories like, "Well, I know this girl: she had a date with this guy and he didn't call for almost 2 weeks and now they're married and couldn't be happier." Or, "My mom knows this woman: her boyfriend cheated on her and then he repented and now they're married with a baby on the way." We even have hope when we hear, "Well, my uncle knows this guy: he was happily married for 13 years and met this woman in the Mini-Mart. The next day he told my uncle that he knew that he had met the woman of his dreams. He left his first wife and now he and the woman from the Mini-Mart have been blissfully married for 22 years." Don't listen to these stories--they are the exceptions. Assume you are the rule--then, when the guy turns out to not be interested you won't be heart-broken and if he is, you can revel in the knowledge that you are an exception. So ladies, why don't we save ourselves unneeded heartbreak and wasted time and realize when he just doesn't care.

Sometimes I despise my literary nature

I have a very literary heart--I love to read, but I also enjoy writing. For the longest time it has been original short stories that I only let small numbers of people read; lately though, I have begun writing a novel that I plan to submit for publishing. That's put on the backburner though because I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to get where I want to go with the story.Now I'm thinking of writing a New Moon fanfiction (the idea of re-interpreting any Twilight book is actually scarier than thoughts of the publishing process). I'm thinking of writing New Moon from Emily's POV. I've thought alot about alternative POVs because recently we read Supplement to the Voyage of Bougainville in English 222 (Lit. before 1650) and just now I read this character analysis on Leah & Emily (which I plan on bookmarking). It talked about how the second-in-command in a wolf pack is the Alpha's mate (the Alpha Female), which would make Emily an incredibly powerful woman. Then I started thinking, "What would the events of New Moon look like to [Emily as] the second-in-command of the werewolf pack? Would it conflict with how she felt about them privately?" and that's where I got the idea for the fanfic. I also plan to explore Emily's feelings about her imprint with Sam and her possible guilt over how it affected Leah.
Well, I have to start writing now--when I get an idea in my head, I can't rest until I put it into action (hence why it sometimes sucks to have such a literary soul). I will post the link to the story as soon as I have the first chapter written & on a fanfic site (assuming I don't just write it on LivJournal for the sake of simplicity).

Catching Up

Sorry I haven't posted in so long--I didn't have much in the way of an Internet connection this summer. Anyway, I have a new apartment and constant Internet access is mine once again--yays! So, my bff had a baby boy--he's so cute and sweet! When you tell him that you love him, he tries to say it back. Also, I went to see Wicked at the Orpheum--so good! It followed the storline of the book pretty well, while at the same time showing some creative license that mixed really well. I also went to the Brooks Art Museum and the Memphis Zoo the same week. I got some awesome Andy Warhol magnets while I was there--they were $10 for 4 of them which is sort of steep, but I <3 Andy Warhol.
Also, I went to see my grandparents in July. It was nice, but I always feel like they refuse to see how much I've grown up, especially my grandfather. It's nice to be back where people look at me as an adult.
I bought this book in the campus bookstore called, You're Being Lied To by Russ Kick. He writes a few things in there, but it's mostly compiled by him--he asked alot of people from alot of different backgrounds. They're aren't alot of conservative opinions in there because Rush Limbough told them not to do it they didn't have anything to say. It doesn't have all the answers, but it does show how the "answers" we have now are wrong.
I joined the Campus Anti-War Network. No, that does not mean that I am anti-military--in fact, one of our goals is for all of those who served in the armed forces to get full physical and mental health benefits and educational funds, regardless of discharge status. We even have a guy who served in Iraq in our group and no one treats him badly or indifferently because he was in the military. The reason I joined CAN is because I don't believe we should be in Iraq, and we're actually in Afganistan for all the wrong reasons. We went over there to look for Osama bin Laden and his Al-Queda operatives and we're not even actually focused on that anymore. I also don't believe we should get involved in the civil wars of other nations or use the military to supposedly spread democracy. That's what being in CAN is about.